Stokes Captaincy Untenable...it's "Time Gentleman, Please!"

Picture the scene, it’s late in the summer of 2027 at The Oval, London, and England captain Ben Stokes, held together by tape and bandages, summons one last Herculean effort to eke out an Australian tailender.

Battered, belligerent but successful in his quest, the 36-year-old hoists the coveted urn aloft in the afternoon sunshine as the hosts wrest the Ashes back into England's hands for the first time in a dozen years.

The reality of that scenario playing out just 13 months from now, seems an awful long way off.

Not just because England have failed in the last five Test series against Australia, but Stokes’ ‘leader-of-men’ aura and superhero powers have waned, if not completely vanished.

His latest indiscretion, along with Gus Atkinson at a London nightclub in the early hours of Monday morning, is not befitting of an England captain, particularly one who is trying to lead a so-called change in culture away from the reliance on booze to have a good time.

After a particularly taxing trip down under during the winter where, let’s be honest, England couldn’t handle their ale, Stokes (above) is arguably in a position where he needs England more than they need him. 

Once in the side for his all-round ability, latterly it was his captaincy which kept his head above water. Following repeated shortcomings with the bat especially, he was attempting to get the best out of others but failing himself.

No one can be surprised by this latest episode and the context of who, when and where matters entirely. 

This England team, Managing Director Rob Key said previously, did not have a culture of drinking yet the hierarchy still felt the need for a midnight curfew. To have this broken at virtually the first opportunity and by the skipper himself, surely extinguishes any last vestiges of public belief in what we’re being told.

How many more times will Key excuse the actions of others? It's a direct affront to his authority and leadership.

“I'm here now again having to speak about these things so it will be a while before I get over that,” Key said on Thursday to the ECB’s YouTube Channel. 

Asked whether there was (now) a drinking problem with the team, Key responded: "It's hard for me to defend this team at the moment in terms of that."

Sacking Stokes, in isolation, does indeed seem harsh. Backing him though sets a worrying precedent and no one of any seniority carries with them any authority.

There’s scarcely any more room under the carpet to brush this latest incident and it is hard to envisage the ECB sacking Stokes, it’s not in their nature.  

They may ask him to do the honourable thing and step aside, but just like those at Downing Street, honourable resignations are no longer de rigueur. Instead, let’s have another reset and another carefully scripted press release about moving on. 

Not this time. 

As long as the cosy triumvirate of Key, Brendon McCullum and Stokes (L-R below) are at the top of English cricket, it's hard to see how they can move forward with any conviction in their words and, more importantly, their actions.

The longer they stick around making excuses for one another, the longer the whiff of ‘jobs-for-the-boys’ manifests itself in to a stench of late, boozy nights and stale beer. 

Time gentleman, please!